Sometimes I get excited about the smallest things. Like this journal that I have had for years and that I have neglected for the past five. Because I ran away with this crazy idea that when I wrote in a journal, I had to fill in pages and pages with words. I felt like I had to chronicle every single event. Every minor swing in mood. Every exhaled sigh. Every word spoken. Of course, that was completely overwhelming. Which is why I gave it up. But I recently had an epiphany - thanks to this article. Journaling is about capturing moments in time. It is not about writing my auto-biography. I mean, who would want to read that anyway? I am writing in my journal for myself, not for an audience, and knowing that makes the whole process enormously liberating.
So I have taken up my pen again. And, in an inexplicable way, it is such a relief to do things the ‘old-fashioned’ way, using paper and ink. I jot down my thoughts, snippets of this and that, scribbled in a hard-bound, burgundy journal that I picked up around 10 years ago from TJ Maxx. Because, you see, I’m that girl who writes much better than she will ever speak. The one who prefers to day-dream than to face the stark reality of life. I am in love with words and the way they can make me feel. For me a journal is not just a collection of memories but the outpourings of my soul.
via Mama’s Losin’ It
It is almost insane that I held myself back because of self-doubt and because, instead of getting lost in the moment, I dwelt more on the events or details that led up to it. Now there is nothing reining me in and I believe that I will find myself as I slowly fill with words the blank pages of my journal.
I will never be one of those people who will stand up and give a speech in public. Nor will I ever be the person at the centre of an animated discussion – unless I am with my closest and dearest friends. I will always be the one who’s listening, analysing (over-analysing maybe) the situation and jotting down mental notes. People see me as aloof, cold, even, or totally disinterested but it would be totally different if the discussion was taking place on paper. My soul has always craved an outlet for all these pent-up feelings. So that is why I have this blog – and now my journal, so that I can tune-in to that secret part of me that is hidden to so many. Because, yes, that would be me in the corner, shunning the spotlight. That would be just me – alone with my thoughts and my pen.
via We Heart It