The stories of my life on a little island in the middle of the Mediterranean sea ... and my occasional adventures beyond these shores.

Monday, 24 February 2014

That’s Me In The Corner

Sometimes I get excited about the smallest things. Like this journal that I have had for years and that I have neglected for the past five. Because I ran away with this crazy idea that when I wrote in a journal, I had to fill in pages and pages with words. I felt like I had to chronicle every single event. Every minor swing in mood. Every exhaled sigh. Every word spoken. Of course, that was completely overwhelming. Which is why I gave it up. But I recently had an epiphany - thanks to this article. Journaling is about capturing moments in time. It is not about writing my auto-biography. I mean, who would want to read that anyway? I am writing in my journal for myself, not for an audience, and knowing that makes the whole process enormously liberating.
So I have taken up my pen again. And, in an inexplicable way, it is such a relief to do things the ‘old-fashioned’ way, using paper and ink. I jot down my thoughts, snippets of this and that, scribbled in a hard-bound, burgundy journal that I picked up around 10 years ago from TJ Maxx. Because, you see, I’m that girl who writes much better than she will ever speak. The one who prefers to day-dream than to face the stark reality of life. I am in love with words and the way they can make me feel. For me a journal is not just a collection of memories but the outpourings of my soul.
Keep a notebook
It is almost insane that I held myself back because of self-doubt and because, instead of getting lost in the moment, I dwelt more on the events or details that led up to it. Now there is nothing reining me in and I believe that I will find myself as I slowly fill with words the blank pages of my journal.
I will never be one of those people who will stand up and give a speech in public. Nor will I ever be the person at the centre of an animated discussion – unless I am with my closest and dearest friends. I will always be the one who’s listening, analysing (over-analysing maybe) the situation and jotting down mental notes. People see me as aloof, cold, even, or totally disinterested but it would be totally different if the discussion was taking place on paper. My soul has always craved an outlet for all these pent-up feelings. So that is why I have this blog – and now my journal, so that I can tune-in to that secret part of me that is hidden to so many. Because, yes, that would be me in the corner, shunning the spotlight. That would be just me – alone with my thoughts and my pen.
I’ve Got Kugel Spirit « Life is Not a Movie

13 comments:

  1. Hello Loree,

    It is so wonderful when one finds a satisfying outlet to one's creative talents. So often one has to do so many things which are routine or are at the request of someone else without really wishing to do them for oneself. So, enjoy and create!

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  2. Amen sister. Totally agree on the journal - you can make entries several times a day or not for a year.....doesn't matter. Some entries can just be drawings, half sentences, half thoughts - whatever works for you makes it YOUR journal! I've been keeping a journal since I was in college and now have a whole shelf full of them - in honesty they are probably more valuable to me than any jewelry..

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  3. Not too alone. We're here with you. I'm so grateful you write many of those thoughts on your blogs. I would be sorry to imagine what we'd be missing out on were you to exclusively pen your thoughts in a journal, and not elsewhere. Like here. :)

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  4. I second that Amen!
    This is a post I will remember and think about for a long time. You've captured what it is to like writing. Well done.
    I find it does help to write down the names of people in a seperate section with short notes who they are because over the years, names begin to matter.

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  5. Don't tell me there is a T.J.MAXX in MALTA??NO,I bet your were over here when you made that purchase right???I will faint if you tell me there is a T.J. in MALTA!
    Writing is good……and think how your SON will adore reading it later on…………………….XXX

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  6. I also have an old journal in which I used to put down every daily thought and all my teenage dreams. I still have it and sometimes I love going through it and I smile at that far off , care free attitude that so evidently shows in those pages written so very long ago by a teenager in love with life ... that was me.
    It was and still is, the one and only journal I ever had. I even kept tickets and dried flowers (that had and still have a special meaning to me) in between the pages.

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  7. i started a new journal this year, but i seem to have spent more sleeping than writing :). anyway, i love writing on my journal. i get more inspired when i'm at a cafe, having tea or coffee and words just pour naturally. thank you for all your comments of encouragement. i really appreciate them.

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  8. Dear Loree - I am so glad you have picked up your journal again. What a true insight into why we blog...I know in our own ways we all love to share ourselves with others - to understand and to be understood. Hope you are having a beautiful day on your lovely island and jotting down wonderful thoughts. Hugs

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  9. Have fun with your journaling, Loree! I am glad you're excited doing this again!

    (Before computer time, I kept a daily journal and I have a stack of them in my closet! Recently, I want to them out and burn them as there were so much of me in there..

    I try to use pen and paper again for writing, but it just wouldn't wok out for me.)

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  11. There is something relaxing about putting pen to paper, though I usually end up doodling more than writing. I love the nature sketch example in the journaling article.

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  12. I think of my blog as my journal but there is something to be said for keeping a journal. I would not blog about every detail of every day but would be more inclined to do so in a private journal. The little things that are good to recollect but not necessarily to share.
    Loved this post.
    Di
    X

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  13. At the top of my closet is a stack of journals that I kept while growing up, one day I will find the courage to get on a ladder, bring them all down and read them again. Till then I am happy to know they are there, with all the secrets that they hold - I write on my blog, but it is so much more organic and fluid when I grab a pen and write the words down on paper first - that is how I wrote tomorrow's post - on paper - then transcribed to the blog, and I think I love it just that little bit more that way xx

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