My Birthday

It was my birthday yesterday. Another year older. Another year wiser? Perhaps. Only time will tell. I am, for sure, wiser than I was at 18. It's so easy to believe you know everything when you're 18, but in reality, not many of us are equipped with dealing with certain blows life may throw at us at that age.

Now the 40s are looming on the horizon and sometimes I feel so old, especially when I see so many people younger than me. My birthdays nowadays are more a day of reflection rather than a day of partying. I do, however, think that each birthday is a celebration of life; of being thankful that I am still here to enjoy the sunsets, the rain, the wild flowers, my family and friends ... It was a day of remembering people who are no longer here to celebrate my birthdays with me especially my grandparents, in particular my Nanna Rose.

The years are passing quickly ... much too quickly. It seems like only yesterday that I was twenty and now, almost another twenty years have passed. Twenty was a milestone - the end of the teens. I remember feeling a certain regret that I had left something behind which I could never retrieve again. I used to have so much time on my hands back then; and I wasted so much of it. Perhaps that is my biggest regret: wasted time which I can never have again. Now, it is a daily battle against the clock. One minute the alarm clock is going off and, it seems like another minute later, I am sinking into bed, tired out and longing to sleep. Then the cycle repeats itself until it seems as if, apart from the weekend, the week is one big jumble of days when sometimes it is difficult to remember whether it is a Monday or a Thursday.

Oh, for some blissful time to just sit in a field full of flowers and breathe slowly and deeply; for some time to just have absolutely nothing to do and I can empty my brain of all niggling thoughts. Oh, for the possibility of being 18 again just for one day.